NEVER ASK A MEXICAN GRANDMA A QUESTION

LAWYERS SHOULD NEVER ASK A MEXICAN GRANDMA A QUESTION IF THEY AREN'T PREPARED FOR THE ANSWER:

.

IN A TRIAL, IN A SMALL TOWN in TEXAS , A PROSECUTING ATTORNEY CALLED HIS FIRST WITNESS, A MEXICAN GRANDMOTHER, AN ELDERLY WOMAN TO THE STAND. HE APPROACHED HER AND ASKED, MRS. SANCHEZ,"DO YOU KNOW ME?"

.

SHE RESPONDED, "SI, I MEAN, JESS I KNOW YOU MR. WILLIAMS. I KNOWN YOU SINCE YOU WERE A CHAVALITO AND FRANKLY YOU'VE BEEN A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT TO ME. YOU LIE, YOU CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE, AND YOU MANIPULATE PEOPLE AND TALK ABOUT THEM BEHIND THEIR BACKS. YOU THINK YOU'RE A BIG SHOT WHEN YOU HAVEN'T THE BRAINS TO REALIZE YOU WILL NEVER AMOUNT TO NOTHIN' BUT A TWO BIT PAPERPUSHER. YES I KNOW YOU."

.

THE LAWYER WAS STUNNED. NOT KNOWING WHAT ELSE TO DO, HE POINTED ACROSS THE ROOM AND ASKED, MRS. SANCHEZ, DO YOU KNOW THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY?

.

SHE AGAIN REPLIED, "WHY JESS I DO. I'VE KNOWN MR. RODRIGUEZ SINCE HE WAS A CHAVALITO TOO. HE'S LAZY, GORDO, AND HE HAS A DRINKING PROBLEM. HE CAN'T HAVE A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP WITH NOBODY AND HE HAS THE WORST LAW PRACTICE IN THE STATE. HA! AND NOT TO MENTION HE CHEATED ON HIS WIFE WITH THREE DIFFERENT PUTAS. ONE OF THEM WAS YOUR WIFE. YOU MEMBER? I KNOW MR. RODRIGUEZ, HIS MAMA IS NOT PROUD OF HIM."

.

THE DEFENSE ATTORNEY ALMOST DIED. THE JUDGE ASKED BOTH COUNSELORS TO APPROACH THE BENCH AND IN A VERY QUIET VOICE SAID, "IF EITHER OF YOU PENDEJO'S ASK HER IF SHE KNOWS ME, I"LL SEND YOU TO THE ELECTRIC CHAIR."